Establishing Roots in your New Home
Moving is hard. Yes, the actual logistics of moving, but even more so the EMOTIONS of moving…especially when it’s not necessarily a voluntary move. A few weeks ago I posted on our Instagram that my Yogi bestie Jordan read my chakras. I had never had it done before and it was a great way for me to check-in with where I’m at emotionally.
Turns out, my Root Chakra was closed. CLOSED. Those beads didn’t move an inch. It surprised me, to be completely honest. Root Chakra represents stability, security, and basic needs being met. I’m stable, I’m secure, my basic needs are being met, right? Wrong. The more I got to thinking about it, the more I realized, Root Chakra and WAF life kind of compete against each other. Our WAF motto of “go with the flow and embrace the chaos” is great, it’s what helps us survive (and THRIVE) in this lifestyle, but it doesn’t really open up our heart to establish roots.
So, I’ve been reflecting on ways to establish roots where I’m at, because I don’t think being a WAF and stability have to be mutually exclusive. I very much think they can co-exist in peace in our lives. I haven’t had my chakras read since, but I believe strongly that if they were read today my Root Chakra wouldn’t be closed, it might not be fully open, but it wouldn’t be closed…I’m a work in progress…what can I say?!
Here’s what I’ve been up to in an attempt to establish some roots:
Dive Deep Into My New Friendships
It’s easy to hold back when you have a great bunch of friends from your past. For the longest time, I was team “no new friends”, which was fine…but it wasn’t opening me up for any stability in the new chapter of life. Since making a more intentional effort to deeply know and love the people this new assignment brought to my life, I’ve grown SO much as a person (and isn’t that what life is all about?!)
I now have friends here that I love and trust. People that help me celebrate big moments and work through tough moments. You need those people. It’s ok to have your long-distance friends, but it’s also important to have people you can lean on that are right down the street. Both have a legitimate, important place in your life.
Be Honest When You Are Struggling
There’s this weird pressure to slap on a smile and “go with the flow” when your spouse comes home and tells you that they just got a last-second assignment and will be gone for the next 4 weeks. Yes, we knew (to a degree) what we “signed up for” marrying into the military, but that doesn’t make it any damn easier to deal with when push comes to shove and you’re trying to survive these unexpected twists and turns. No one in your life expects you to always be understanding and OK with these chaotic twists and turns (if they do, they probably aren’t a healthy person to be spending your time around). Sometimes you will be OK. Sometimes you won’t. Either way, be honest with your family/friends when they ask, be honest with your spouse, but most importantly be honest with yourself so you know what you need to move forward in a healthy headspace.
Embrace Your Community
Step out of the “base bubble” and go see what your community has to offer. The best decision we made when we moved to Del Rio was getting involved with a local church downtown. We still go on base every so often, but we dove into our church headfirst by doing a Bible study and met some AMAZING men and women that way. Nothing feels better than bopping through the Walmart here, hearing your name, and turning to see a fellow parishioner coming up to talk to us! It’s a welcomed break from all things military and truly makes us feel “like a local”.
I’m constantly looking for ways now to feel more rooted where I am. This has been a HUGE challenge for me because stability in my mind has always equaled control and as you all know, control is out the window in the military lifestyle. I know it’s going to take a lot of intentional practice, but I openly embrace this challenge because being a modern-day WAF means not having it all figured out, instead of being willing to open up to the journey and learn from it.
Let me know in the comments what you’ve done to establish roots where you are…
Meet Jen + Kirst! We are two women doing our best to thrive in this Air Force wife life. Neither of us saw ourselves marrying into the military so when our time came, we were way in over our heads. After our desperate Google searches in an attempt to set our expectations for our new lives came up short, we felt called to make a difference for other Wives of the Air Force (WAFs) walking this same road. We are an organization dedicated to making the lives of new WAFs easier through everything we learned the hard way.
Read more about them at www.wivesoftheairforce.com